Each morning, for about the last six months, I get out of bed and recite this verse from the Psalms: This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24). I like to start each day with that prayer in order remind myself that I have been given yet one more day on this Earth. I ask God to show me during the day how He can use me. I ask God each morning, "What do you have in store for me today? How can I be used for Your glory?" Finally, I pray (more as a reminder to myself) and ask God to help me drink from His living water so that I may be sustained as I go through each day (John 4:13-14).
Some days, I feel like I was really "in tune" with God and saw where He used me. Other days, I'm not so sure. Those are the days where I go to work, deal with administrative stuff all day, then go home. Have I missed something? Did God intend for me to do something, but I was so busy that I didn't hear Him talking to me? Or, maybe there was not one specific thing God needed me for that day, or perhaps I overestimate my own importance in carrying out His mission. I don't know.
Yesterday, however, was one of those days that I longed for. I had the chance to share my testimony about God's healing power. It was recorded on video for the "I Am Second" movement which is ongoing nationwide (www.iamsecond.com) and which will kick off at Texas A&M in early March. Holland, an amazing person and former counselor from Camp Stephenson, invited me to share my story, and I graciously agreed. Andrew will edit it and do amazing things to the video and eventually it will be available for sharing. I want people to know how God transformed me during my cancer experience. I am no longer the same person I was before; I pray that I never will be.
Thank you, God, for using me. I pray that I get out of the way so that Your word can be shared the way You want it to.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Two Gifts, One Day
Wednesday morning started with a phone call from Brian, a former graduate student and dear friend. He was calling to tell me the latest on his dad (age 58) who had been diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer late last year. At that time, we prayed for his dad at the healing and wholeness service at our church. My wife Della had mailed a copy of one of our favorite books to his dad. The book, by Dodie Osteen, is a short but divinely-inspired text on Biblical healing of illness and how she had been healed of cancer years ago.
On this early morning, Brian called to tell me that his dad, after three rounds of chemo, was in full remission. What a praise!!! The news was peppered with a bit of sadness. The doctors tell Jack that this type of cancer usually comes back. Moreover, from time of diagnosis, people with this type of cancer live an average of 11 months. So while he is in remission and is feeling good, the doctors are obligated to give the usual gloom and doom news that goes along with a stomach cancer diagnosis.
I told Brian that the doctors have to tell you that; it's what they do. They live in a world where most everyone they deal with ... dies. That's okay. I told Brian that just like we prayed and expected a miracle for his dad to eradicate his cancer, we would pray that God totally heal him from this sickness. And we will; we continue to believe in God's might power and grace. Despite what the doctors were saying, I would take this as a gift from God to Brian and his family; his dad was healed. Brian had told his Mom and Dad that they needed to go and live life as victors in the chess game of cancer. Amen!
The day ended on a different, yet God-inspired note. I attended a business dinner with about five other individuals. I was the Liberal Arts dean that was assigned to this particular group. That night, one of the dinner guests arrived and, as I introduced myself to her, she told me that she knew who I was because we went to church together.
I confess that although she looked a little familiar, I could not place her. If I had seen her in church, I couldn't remember where. We all had dinner, but upon leaving, I had a chance to visit with her a bit more. She told me that she had seen me in worship but also that she had participated in a small group once and that my wife and I were really nice to her there. Still puzzled, I asked which small group. She told me it was the healing and wholeness service that my wife and I attend faithfully. On that particular night, at the service, my wife (who visits the bookstore regularly at our church) had given her a book to read. She told me that the book really helped her through a tough time. AHA, I then remembered instantly that she had been in a breakout group one night during our healing service. And we had prayed for her and her healing several months ago. And here she was, in good spirits, healed and victorious in God's grace.
Two gifts of healing, one day, all from one Amazing God.
On this early morning, Brian called to tell me that his dad, after three rounds of chemo, was in full remission. What a praise!!! The news was peppered with a bit of sadness. The doctors tell Jack that this type of cancer usually comes back. Moreover, from time of diagnosis, people with this type of cancer live an average of 11 months. So while he is in remission and is feeling good, the doctors are obligated to give the usual gloom and doom news that goes along with a stomach cancer diagnosis.
I told Brian that the doctors have to tell you that; it's what they do. They live in a world where most everyone they deal with ... dies. That's okay. I told Brian that just like we prayed and expected a miracle for his dad to eradicate his cancer, we would pray that God totally heal him from this sickness. And we will; we continue to believe in God's might power and grace. Despite what the doctors were saying, I would take this as a gift from God to Brian and his family; his dad was healed. Brian had told his Mom and Dad that they needed to go and live life as victors in the chess game of cancer. Amen!
The day ended on a different, yet God-inspired note. I attended a business dinner with about five other individuals. I was the Liberal Arts dean that was assigned to this particular group. That night, one of the dinner guests arrived and, as I introduced myself to her, she told me that she knew who I was because we went to church together.
I confess that although she looked a little familiar, I could not place her. If I had seen her in church, I couldn't remember where. We all had dinner, but upon leaving, I had a chance to visit with her a bit more. She told me that she had seen me in worship but also that she had participated in a small group once and that my wife and I were really nice to her there. Still puzzled, I asked which small group. She told me it was the healing and wholeness service that my wife and I attend faithfully. On that particular night, at the service, my wife (who visits the bookstore regularly at our church) had given her a book to read. She told me that the book really helped her through a tough time. AHA, I then remembered instantly that she had been in a breakout group one night during our healing service. And we had prayed for her and her healing several months ago. And here she was, in good spirits, healed and victorious in God's grace.
Two gifts of healing, one day, all from one Amazing God.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
God Speaks ... Still
This story is a reminder that there are times when God truly hits us over the head when he is speaking to us.
Over the Christmas holidays, I began to feel some uncomfortable sensations in my abdomen. I was a bit alarmed because the sensations were similar to what I felt prior to my first cancer diagnosis. As a cancer survivor, I feel I am always on guard. After all, I missed finding cancer early the first time, so my brain and my body are on heightened alert. If there was to be a second round of cancer (the statistics suggest a 50/50 chance there will be), I didn't want the cells to accelerate so quickly that it advanced to stage four as it had the first time.
Just prior to Christmas, I began noticing some unusual sensations in the same lower left abdominal area where the cancer had been most so prominent. Such sensations were not unusual. I have a very large area of scar tissue in my abdomen where the chemo killed it the first time. Sometimes, that scar tissue is oddly noticable internally. Usually I just dismissed the feelings and went on.
But this time, it was different. I awoke about 3:40 in the morning in a hotel room in Fredericksburg, Texas. I felt two very sharp, but brief pains just above my belly button. They went away quickly, but they were really noticeable. Had the earlier sensations I had felt been a precursor to these more pronounced sensations? And was this a cue to start paying more attention to my body in the event I needed to talk to my doctor?
In my warped, post-cancer state of mind, they were. The sensations came and went for days. I worried. I worried a bit more. Finally, I told my wife that I was worried. And after talking about it for a few days, we finally felt I should call and tell my doctor. He was concerned enough that he wanted to do a CT scan, as the nurse said, "just to be safe." That was a Monday and the scan was set up for Thursday...four very long days later.
On Wednesday night, in my quiet time, I decided I would read from the Psalms. They always bring me comfort. I hadn't been reading anything in particular from the Bible that week. Instead, I was reading from a devotional book I have called "A Guide to Prayer for All God's People." But tonight, I longed the comfort of the Psalms.
So I grabbed my Bible off the table, then turned around and got comfortable on the couch. Then, I opened my Bible. I was curious to see where I landed when I first opened the book. This time, Nehemiah. I can't say I've spent too much time in Nehemiah, so this was new.
And then I looked down, and went straight to this verse:
I had to reread it to make sure I had read it correctly. I did.
And on Friday when I got the report from my doctor, my scan was clear...not a trace of anything to be concerned about.
God Speaks. Still.
Over the Christmas holidays, I began to feel some uncomfortable sensations in my abdomen. I was a bit alarmed because the sensations were similar to what I felt prior to my first cancer diagnosis. As a cancer survivor, I feel I am always on guard. After all, I missed finding cancer early the first time, so my brain and my body are on heightened alert. If there was to be a second round of cancer (the statistics suggest a 50/50 chance there will be), I didn't want the cells to accelerate so quickly that it advanced to stage four as it had the first time.
Just prior to Christmas, I began noticing some unusual sensations in the same lower left abdominal area where the cancer had been most so prominent. Such sensations were not unusual. I have a very large area of scar tissue in my abdomen where the chemo killed it the first time. Sometimes, that scar tissue is oddly noticable internally. Usually I just dismissed the feelings and went on.
But this time, it was different. I awoke about 3:40 in the morning in a hotel room in Fredericksburg, Texas. I felt two very sharp, but brief pains just above my belly button. They went away quickly, but they were really noticeable. Had the earlier sensations I had felt been a precursor to these more pronounced sensations? And was this a cue to start paying more attention to my body in the event I needed to talk to my doctor?
In my warped, post-cancer state of mind, they were. The sensations came and went for days. I worried. I worried a bit more. Finally, I told my wife that I was worried. And after talking about it for a few days, we finally felt I should call and tell my doctor. He was concerned enough that he wanted to do a CT scan, as the nurse said, "just to be safe." That was a Monday and the scan was set up for Thursday...four very long days later.
On Wednesday night, in my quiet time, I decided I would read from the Psalms. They always bring me comfort. I hadn't been reading anything in particular from the Bible that week. Instead, I was reading from a devotional book I have called "A Guide to Prayer for All God's People." But tonight, I longed the comfort of the Psalms.
So I grabbed my Bible off the table, then turned around and got comfortable on the couch. Then, I opened my Bible. I was curious to see where I landed when I first opened the book. This time, Nehemiah. I can't say I've spent too much time in Nehemiah, so this was new.
And then I looked down, and went straight to this verse:
"So I sent him back this answer: 'Nothing you are saying is really happening. You are just making it up in your own mind." (Nehemiah 6:8).
I had to reread it to make sure I had read it correctly. I did.
And on Friday when I got the report from my doctor, my scan was clear...not a trace of anything to be concerned about.
God Speaks. Still.
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