Over the Christmas holidays, I began to feel some uncomfortable sensations in my abdomen. I was a bit alarmed because the sensations were similar to what I felt prior to my first cancer diagnosis. As a cancer survivor, I feel I am always on guard. After all, I missed finding cancer early the first time, so my brain and my body are on heightened alert. If there was to be a second round of cancer (the statistics suggest a 50/50 chance there will be), I didn't want the cells to accelerate so quickly that it advanced to stage four as it had the first time.
Just prior to Christmas, I began noticing some unusual sensations in the same lower left abdominal area where the cancer had been most so prominent. Such sensations were not unusual. I have a very large area of scar tissue in my abdomen where the chemo killed it the first time. Sometimes, that scar tissue is oddly noticable internally. Usually I just dismissed the feelings and went on.
But this time, it was different. I awoke about 3:40 in the morning in a hotel room in Fredericksburg, Texas. I felt two very sharp, but brief pains just above my belly button. They went away quickly, but they were really noticeable. Had the earlier sensations I had felt been a precursor to these more pronounced sensations? And was this a cue to start paying more attention to my body in the event I needed to talk to my doctor?
In my warped, post-cancer state of mind, they were. The sensations came and went for days. I worried. I worried a bit more. Finally, I told my wife that I was worried. And after talking about it for a few days, we finally felt I should call and tell my doctor. He was concerned enough that he wanted to do a CT scan, as the nurse said, "just to be safe." That was a Monday and the scan was set up for Thursday...four very long days later.
On Wednesday night, in my quiet time, I decided I would read from the Psalms. They always bring me comfort. I hadn't been reading anything in particular from the Bible that week. Instead, I was reading from a devotional book I have called "A Guide to Prayer for All God's People." But tonight, I longed the comfort of the Psalms.
So I grabbed my Bible off the table, then turned around and got comfortable on the couch. Then, I opened my Bible. I was curious to see where I landed when I first opened the book. This time, Nehemiah. I can't say I've spent too much time in Nehemiah, so this was new.
And then I looked down, and went straight to this verse:
"So I sent him back this answer: 'Nothing you are saying is really happening. You are just making it up in your own mind." (Nehemiah 6:8).
I had to reread it to make sure I had read it correctly. I did.
And on Friday when I got the report from my doctor, my scan was clear...not a trace of anything to be concerned about.
God Speaks. Still.
Yes. He is with you and I do believe he will be with you always. Glad to hear that everything is fine! :)
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