Come in MY Courts...

Were you ever told, "If you cannot say anything nice, then don't say anything at all?" I know I was!

I hammered out a rare rant on my facebook status this week addressing the hate and vitriolic rhetoric that seems to permeate our country today. It makes me so sad to see good people use harsh, hateful words toward other people. Regardless of what "side" of the issue on which one finds him or herself, I personally find nothing redeeming about expressions of stupidity, idiocy, hate, physical violence, and the like.

So why does it bother me so much? Why am I all of a sudden crusading against hate?

I think it coincides with a movement by the Holy Spirit this week which led me to download a new worship album by the band Deluge called Unshakable. One song in particular, Come In My Courts, has truly touched my soul. The song captures the words the Lord would say to us, His people, about His longing for us to seek Him out. More importantly, the lyrics express His love for us.

Welcome in... the way is open,
Come on in...
You are My temple, My tabernacle,
I've chosen you.

Do you see that last line?... I've chosen YOU. I've CHOSEN you.

And then...

Come abide... my Spirit's calling,
Deep inside...
You're My beloved,
There is none other... I love more than you.

The Lord tells us He loves us, that WE are his beloved, and that his Spirit calls us in every second of every day because we are His. He loves us sooooo much.

And just as you begin to understand how incredibly valuable you are to the Lord and start seeing His hand reaching out to yours, someone (who presumes to know God) comes along and calls you a misdirected, lying S.O.B. Ahhh, you can just feel the love.

I guess there are two different lessons here for me.

First, I cannot base my worth on what humans think of me...bad OR good. I was made in God's image (Gen 1: 26; Acts 17:29a). I do make mistakes regularly (Romans 3:23), but only by God's grace am I saved (Eph 2:8). As the song lyrics say, "You're My beloved, There is none other... I love more than you."

Second, I need to do a better job letting people know how harmful their words can be and that they should be using their words for good. Ephesians 4:29 says "Don't say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you." There are more than enough times when I can't find a nice word to say about someone. :-) I admit that. So I'm going to do my best to keep it zipped and remember the first point I made above... that every person is a child of God and made in His image.

Ron Hutchcraft wrote:

"Our angry, or reckless, or critical words are bullets - and it's all too easy to pull that trigger. In fact, it takes the help of God and our personal discipline to keep from firing off a round of wounding words. But once you pull that trigger, there's no way to get that round back. Long after you've forgotten what you said, that person is still feeling the hurt of it, still hearing it over and over again in their heart. The words take a moment; the wounds can last for years."

And Deluge reminds us of God's words to us: "There is none other... I love more than you." He wants us in His courts! Thank goodness!!!

I Really Am Second

I'm so glad to be used by God... Thank you Lord for this opportunity to speak about your faithfulness.

http://vimeo.com/10285948

Sweetly broken, Holy surrender!

"At the cross You,
beckon me...
draw me gently,
to my knees, and I am...
lost for words, so,
lost in love. I'm
sweetly broken, Holy surrender!"

Lord,

Do you remember last spring when you put the words "total surrender" in my head and my heart? Jerry preached on it a little bit, and maybe that is when it started. I really don't know. I remember it was after I was well into remission, and I remember it was on a Sunday morning. But I can't remember much more than that.

You started very slowly with me. You got me to start thinking about what it meant to totally surrender to you. I argued with you periodically, trying to explain to you that I had already surrendered my life to you and that I loved you more than ever. And it was true; I was closer to you after the storm than I had ever been in my life. But gently, you let me know that it wasn't quite enough. It wasn't that you wanted me to surrender cognitively or behaviorally... you were looking for more. You were looking for total surrender, including surrender of my emotions, my will, and my life. I didn't figure that out until just today... nearly a year later.

On that first Sunday morning, you whispered in my ear, 'Give me your heart.' And I tried. But I was worried about what other people would think. It took a good four months before I finally was able to pry my cold hands off of my heart and give it over to you.

When I finally was able, then you said, 'Give me your praise.' And I tried. On Sunday morning, I began to praise you in ways I hadn't praised you before. But it was hard, because other people looked at me funny. I knew those looks all too well. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did. But, like a child learning to ride a bike, you let me fall down gently, and then you helped me get back on the bike. Soon, I learned how to praise you... but just a little bit. And you said, 'No, give me ALL your praise.'

You wanted total surrender.

And so I did. And it felt soooo good. And so, for the last three or four months, I've caught on. I can finally praise you like I want to praise you. I feel like I'm on fire. I feel those butterflies in my gut like I cannot get enough of you. I feel like I cannot get enough of my praise time with you. I feel like every praise and worship song goes so deep down into my soul and draws out a response that I have never had before... complete and total adoration, complete and total love, complete and total...surrender.

Sweetly broken. Holy surrender. I'm lost for words. I have only love.

Please, please Lord... don't let it stop now.

Wow, they grow up fast...

Two of the counselors in Camp Stephenson from 2008, Holland and Jules, have touched my heart. I've watched them grow in their Christian faith in a very short period of time. They are now beautiful examples of the hands and feet of Jesus. They put their talents and skills to use for God's kingdom.

One could not ask for more...literally...than to see these two incredible young lives turn into something so amazing.

As I watched their ministry launch last night, tears rolled down my cheeks. They have planted seeds that will yield so much in years to come. I was blessed to meet a number of others from their ministry team. They are launching something incredible for Texas A&M. www.iamsecond.com/tamu

Thank you guys for your ministry, and thank you for ministering to me along the way. I'm literally at a loss for words.

I did have another one of those "God moments" last night. The prayer team leader for I Am Second spoke to us about a passage from Romans 12. I carefully jotted down the scriptures on my iphone notepad so I could look at them later in the night for reflection. God was a step ahead of me. When I got home, opened up my devotional for the night from the book "Streams in the Desert," guess what the scripture was for the evening... Romans 12.

Whoa! Amazing!

When anger wins

All are sinners and fall short of the glory of God. -Romans 3:23. Thanks to Jesus the Christ that he died for all our sins and loves us anyway. -John 3:16.

How Will He Use Me?

Each morning, for about the last six months, I get out of bed and recite this verse from the Psalms: This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24). I like to start each day with that prayer in order remind myself that I have been given yet one more day on this Earth. I ask God to show me during the day how He can use me. I ask God each morning, "What do you have in store for me today? How can I be used for Your glory?" Finally, I pray (more as a reminder to myself) and ask God to help me drink from His living water so that I may be sustained as I go through each day (John 4:13-14).

Some days, I feel like I was really "in tune" with God and saw where He used me. Other days, I'm not so sure. Those are the days where I go to work, deal with administrative stuff all day, then go home. Have I missed something? Did God intend for me to do something, but I was so busy that I didn't hear Him talking to me? Or, maybe there was not one specific thing God needed me for that day, or perhaps I overestimate my own importance in carrying out His mission. I don't know.

Yesterday, however, was one of those days that I longed for. I had the chance to share my testimony about God's healing power. It was recorded on video for the "I Am Second" movement which is ongoing nationwide (www.iamsecond.com) and which will kick off at Texas A&M in early March. Holland, an amazing person and former counselor from Camp Stephenson, invited me to share my story, and I graciously agreed. Andrew will edit it and do amazing things to the video and eventually it will be available for sharing. I want people to know how God transformed me during my cancer experience. I am no longer the same person I was before; I pray that I never will be.

Thank you, God, for using me. I pray that I get out of the way so that Your word can be shared the way You want it to.

Two Gifts, One Day

Wednesday morning started with a phone call from Brian, a former graduate student and dear friend. He was calling to tell me the latest on his dad (age 58) who had been diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer late last year. At that time, we prayed for his dad at the healing and wholeness service at our church. My wife Della had mailed a copy of one of our favorite books to his dad. The book, by Dodie Osteen, is a short but divinely-inspired text on Biblical healing of illness and how she had been healed of cancer years ago.

On this early morning, Brian called to tell me that his dad, after three rounds of chemo, was in full remission. What a praise!!! The news was peppered with a bit of sadness. The doctors tell Jack that this type of cancer usually comes back. Moreover, from time of diagnosis, people with this type of cancer live an average of 11 months. So while he is in remission and is feeling good, the doctors are obligated to give the usual gloom and doom news that goes along with a stomach cancer diagnosis.

I told Brian that the doctors have to tell you that; it's what they do. They live in a world where most everyone they deal with ... dies. That's okay. I told Brian that just like we prayed and expected a miracle for his dad to eradicate his cancer, we would pray that God totally heal him from this sickness. And we will; we continue to believe in God's might power and grace. Despite what the doctors were saying, I would take this as a gift from God to Brian and his family; his dad was healed. Brian had told his Mom and Dad that they needed to go and live life as victors in the chess game of cancer. Amen!

The day ended on a different, yet God-inspired note. I attended a business dinner with about five other individuals. I was the Liberal Arts dean that was assigned to this particular group. That night, one of the dinner guests arrived and, as I introduced myself to her, she told me that she knew who I was because we went to church together.

I confess that although she looked a little familiar, I could not place her. If I had seen her in church, I couldn't remember where. We all had dinner, but upon leaving, I had a chance to visit with her a bit more. She told me that she had seen me in worship but also that she had participated in a small group once and that my wife and I were really nice to her there. Still puzzled, I asked which small group. She told me it was the healing and wholeness service that my wife and I attend faithfully. On that particular night, at the service, my wife (who visits the bookstore regularly at our church) had given her a book to read. She told me that the book really helped her through a tough time. AHA, I then remembered instantly that she had been in a breakout group one night during our healing service. And we had prayed for her and her healing several months ago. And here she was, in good spirits, healed and victorious in God's grace.

Two gifts of healing, one day, all from one Amazing God.

God Speaks ... Still

This story is a reminder that there are times when God truly hits us over the head when he is speaking to us.

Over the Christmas holidays, I began to feel some uncomfortable sensations in my abdomen. I was a bit alarmed because the sensations were similar to what I felt prior to my first cancer diagnosis. As a cancer survivor, I feel I am always on guard. After all, I missed finding cancer early the first time, so my brain and my body are on heightened alert. If there was to be a second round of cancer (the statistics suggest a 50/50 chance there will be), I didn't want the cells to accelerate so quickly that it advanced to stage four as it had the first time.

Just prior to Christmas, I began noticing some unusual sensations in the same lower left abdominal area where the cancer had been most so prominent. Such sensations were not unusual. I have a very large area of scar tissue in my abdomen where the chemo killed it the first time. Sometimes, that scar tissue is oddly noticable internally. Usually I just dismissed the feelings and went on.

But this time, it was different. I awoke about 3:40 in the morning in a hotel room in Fredericksburg, Texas. I felt two very sharp, but brief pains just above my belly button. They went away quickly, but they were really noticeable. Had the earlier sensations I had felt been a precursor to these more pronounced sensations? And was this a cue to start paying more attention to my body in the event I needed to talk to my doctor?

In my warped, post-cancer state of mind, they were. The sensations came and went for days. I worried. I worried a bit more. Finally, I told my wife that I was worried. And after talking about it for a few days, we finally felt I should call and tell my doctor. He was concerned enough that he wanted to do a CT scan, as the nurse said, "just to be safe." That was a Monday and the scan was set up for Thursday...four very long days later.

On Wednesday night, in my quiet time, I decided I would read from the Psalms. They always bring me comfort. I hadn't been reading anything in particular from the Bible that week. Instead, I was reading from a devotional book I have called "A Guide to Prayer for All God's People." But tonight, I longed the comfort of the Psalms.

So I grabbed my Bible off the table, then turned around and got comfortable on the couch. Then, I opened my Bible. I was curious to see where I landed when I first opened the book. This time, Nehemiah. I can't say I've spent too much time in Nehemiah, so this was new.

And then I looked down, and went straight to this verse:

"So I sent him back this answer: 'Nothing you are saying is really happening. You are just making it up in your own mind." (Nehemiah 6:8).

I had to reread it to make sure I had read it correctly. I did.

And on Friday when I got the report from my doctor, my scan was clear...not a trace of anything to be concerned about.

God Speaks. Still.